I'm home

70.4 mph avg. speed is hardly accurate...damn LA traffic and city streets along the way messed that up

After 1,205 miles, driving 17 hours and 52 minutes over 2 days I'm home. How does it feel? Great.

Immediately, here are my observations in the first few days...

This has yet to be proven as "difficult" as one would expect for uprooting a life and moving away from a place and a life established over 9 years. Maybe that answers whether I think I made the "right" decision in leaving California. Maybe it hints at what my ultimate decision will be, as well.

I love the weather. The drive up provided fantastic weather and a stop in Portland was a perfect PNW summer day. Sunday, however, it was a typical PNW fall day (on August 29th...go figure) but I loved it. Light jacket, jeans, hat on an overcast and windy day...I'll take that any day. Today it's cold and raining and I couldn't care less; I'm loving it.  It might get old and I might miss 80-degree days being the norm but right now I can't get enough.

It is so much f*cking cleaner up here it's sick. No trash on the sides of the road, no graffiti, no beat-to-hell roads, no '83 Datsun pickups piled 6' high with recyclables or junk, the sky is blue, the air clean...I could go on and on but you get the point.

People drive faster than I remember, which is a good thing. Everyone in SoCal drives like a bat out of hell and you just sort of go with the speedy flow of traffic and it always seems like people do that up here but at 60-65mph. Well, it would seem that a lot of CA transplants have spread the speeding gospel and the WA folk are eating it up and seeing that the grass really is greener the faster you drive. Win.

Tortillas are not found at every restaurant. Muy bueno.

My packing several pairs of sandals is laughable as is the thin selection of long-sleeved items I've amassed in SoCal.

I miss Brisbane.

I miss the ocean.

I feel like a kid again.

More thoughts later...

I'm taking my talents to Seattle

So, tomorrow I'm leaving California. I'm putting all my stuff in storage and driving North with clothes and my computers (so I can work/trade) and a whole lotta eagerness to start a new chapter in my life both personally and professionally. Right now it's not a permanent move but I also know it's not a guarantee that I'll be moving back to SoCal. I'll spend the next few months unwinding and spending some quality time with my family who I've been away from for 15 years now and just figuring out where I want to hang my hat. I'm lucky in this regard as I can be anywhere in the world doing my job so I truly can follow my heart and be anywhere and everywhere I want or need to be.

Through my efforts in trading I've arrived on the stage and been handed the metaphorical diploma that states that I've become a trading samurai and it's time for me to unleash that knowledge and skill in the markets and really see what this thing can do, not just trade sporadically or when I feel like it as I do now. I liken the last 2 years of my life to becoming a fighter pilot who 2 years ago knew only the basic concepts of flight (you need lift, propulsion, and some other stuff, right?) and now has the knowledge and the skill to fly the most technologically advanced and effective aircraft ever created; a knowledge and skill that's only been bestowed upon less than 200 others. Really cool shit...

Personally? Well, this is maybe just as exciting a time as it is professionally; possibly more so. The last month or so has been spent focusing on ME and my desires, my wants, my needs and re-discovering the "real" me that's always been inside and I've shared a great deal of with the world...but always held back in some way. Maybe it was because I was afraid of what others might think, I sacrificed my needs/desires or aspects of my personality to make others happy or I was just too scared to really put myself out there. Well, those days are gone. I've been living my life recently, being myself and it feels great.

Maybe what's more exciting is what living my life and sending all this crazy energy and intentions out there has given me. Friends I'd lost track of have found me, I'm in great shape, I'm eating healthy, strangers laugh at my jokes, I get good parking spots, the lines are shorter at In-n-Out; the important stuff. Basically, I'm getting back what I'm putting out there and that's A LOT.

There's this energy that's flowing through me right now that's hard to explain. Most nights, I'm sleeping about 3-4 hours yet I wake up at 5:30 to start making the donuts and I'm wired; I can't spend the energy fast enough to wear me out. Not that it's really a bad thing, mind you. I've been working out a ton, doing more yoga, running, surfing and whatever activities I can find that are better uses of my time than sitting around doing nothing. As a result I'm in the best shape of my life. I never would have thought at 33 I'd be stronger and in better shape than I was when I was throwing trash for my Dad every summer through HS and college. I ran 10 miles the other day and my previous best was maybe 5-6 with breaks thrown in to save me from collapse; usually it's 1.5. I repeated the feat, but faster, 2 days later. My next goal is to try a 1/2 marathon; why not. Last week I logged over 30 miles which probably was my total for the last 2 months. I'm writing a lot, I'm connecting with people, I'm listening to music constantly--some new, some old--, I'm inspired, excited and just going with the flow; doing what feels right and what I want. I'm not forcing anything; I'm just being me and putting my trust out there that what happens, happens, be it good or bad. I'm accepting of my faults, my shortcomings and can laugh at myself and just be OK with being who I am, whoever that is. Shit, gang, it feels incredible and I'm really stoked to be me.

Basically, right now, this is a pretty incredible time to know me. If you don't know me I encourage you to do what you can to learn more; it's not boring, that's for sure. I think if I could take a version of myself and put it in a time capsule or something I'd take the version that's writing this blog entry. It's really gratifying and exciting to know that I'm hitting my stride in so many ways and that each day gets better and there's so much out there for me right now.

So you'll see a lot on here from me over the next few months I'm in Seattle as I attempt to document my life and my journey as best I can and share all this excitement that is my life; the life I want.

I'll see ya in Seattle...

Bryan, bmills, Killah B, Bry, B, Mills, Buzz or whatever else you may call me

Foodspotting gets the 2.0 moniker and is better than ever

A while back I told you about Foodspotting. Do you remember that post? OK, well here's your bullet points:

• You take photos of a specific food/dish at a restaurant
• You upload those photos to the Foodspotting site along with a little description of the food, if you're feeling randy
• People can then look for foods around them or at specific restaurants and see photos of the yummy food you just snapped a photo of

They came out with an iPhone app a few months ago and it was OK, but it was buggy and lacked a lot of functionality and features you'd expect. Well, 3 days ago they came out with version 2.0 of both the site and the iPhone app and both are bad-ass improvements.

I loved the site and the concept before, now I'm shopping for the ring. It's such a great idea and the way it integrates with iPhone (Android, soon) Twitter and Facebook are extremely well executed. It's insanely fun to look at some of the dishes around the world and search for dishes that have been spotted near you; I've searched out dishes and restaurants from photos on the site and am glad I did; the photos really did them justice. I've bookmarked foods from all over the place to try when I'm anywhere near them and the guides provided by foodspotters, famous chefs and so forth for various cities really give you a chance to find not only the restaurants you should visit but see photos of the dishes that these people recommend. Sofa King cool.

So if you have iPhone you have no excuse to not use this app (it's free) and even if you don't there's no reason you shouldn't become a foodspotter and snap photos of your food and share them with the rest of the world, especially if you're visiting a place that's not yet known to the Foodspotting community.

Run, Bryan, run!

Yesterday I leashed up the dog and decided that we'd go for a walk and parlay that into a run. The sun was out, I wanted some exercise, I just bought some really comfy running shoes and it just seemed like the perfect combination to take my 1st outdoor run in a long time.

So, we headed out and we walked the 1st mile so Brisbane could mark all the trees and bushes he'd marked 8 hours earlier on our morning walk and do his big business (always 2 if you're going more than like 1/2 a mile) and after he dropped the last of his cargo we started running...and running...and running. Before I realized it we had run from home down 17th Street, beyond Huntington Street along the boardwalk down by the beach; a giant 5 mile rhombus missing the 4th side, though I'm a horrible guesser of any distance, weight, height or anything, really, so I had no idea if we were 5 miles along, 2 or 10. The dog was exhausted yet I really didn't feel that bad. I wasn't setting landspeed records but I was still probably running an 8:30-9-minute pace, passing most others running but still getting passed every now and then. I would have gone further but I knew that the dog was not gonna be a happy camper so we turned around and ran back.

It felt incredible. We got back to the house and I still felt I could go further though the dog didn't make it 10' into the house before he passed out on the cool stone floor with his tongue completely out of his control as he tried to bite my hand or lick it (could go either way).

I've no clue if I can do that again, if it's the beginning of daily 10 mile runs or more or what the heck was going on. I do know this was crazy for several reasons:

1. I'm not a runner. I try and most times I don't make it that far, which is to say that I can go about a mile or mile and a half before I feel like collapsing.
2. The previous furthest distance I'd ever run was just about 6 miles, though it was broken into a few legs of running with rest in there to prevent my face from meeting the ground as I collapsed in agony
3. In the previous 48 hours I'd slept 7 hours. Don't ask; I have no idea why I can't sleep after doing tons of exercise and eating healthy for weeks on end...at least I'm looking good.

WTF??

Dood...I'm done...leave me alone...

YouTube Tuesday: Pure Stoke

This is pure stoke and it must have taken them a ton of time to put together, but I think we can all agree it was well worth the effort...

I'm back...sort of

WOW. April 19th? That's the last time I've posted anything here? That's not good. Not going to make any excuses, but if I were, here's what I'd say.

It's been a crazy last 3+ months here...like Britney Spears shaving her head crazy. Big changes happening right now in our Hero's life but all GOOD stuff. First off, I'm single. Yeah, what are ya gonna do. I was pretty bummed out at first but now that I've had time to think about it I'm not only OK with it I think it was/is the best thing for me and I've got a level of clarity, freedom and focus now that I've lacked maybe my entire life. I can't really explain it but I know what I want now, I know what makes me happy, what inspires me, what matters in my life; shit that I'd neglected or just not expressed fully in 33 years. It's not all from this breakup but through that event I've spent a lot of time evaluating everything in my life and identifying things that I've sacrificed for a LONG time, things I've lost touch with about myself and I just had one of those "a-ha" moments where I could go back and look at failed relationships, failed business ventures, friendships, missed opportunities and so forth and truly identify who I am, who I'm not and what I want. So needless to say, I'm pretty happy right now; maybe the happiest I've ever been. It sucks that it took the loss of a relationship and a couple years of real adversity in so many aspects of my life to get there but maybe that was the ONLY way I was ever going to get there, ya know?

Second, I sort of have a business partner I'm working with. He's more of a sponsor and I'll be trading on his behalf but we nonetheless view the relationship as a business venture which is awesome. My mentor Bill finally completed his opus Sentinel and is releasing the software any day now which is where my partner comes in. He'd like to use the software for his own trading account but would like to leverage my knowledge and skills and ability to actually perform the trades on his behalf. So, it's gonna work out famously as we're both bringing a very important piece of the puzzle to the table and without each other it's unlikely that we'd individually be able to achieve the success that's possible from the two of us working together. I'm really excited about working with him and using this new software that is quite possibly the most effective trading software/system that's ever been developed and it's only being marketed to myself and less than 200 other traders who are students of my mentor and his methodology. It feels very empowering to be a part of such a small, focused group of traders that are doing things that nobody ever thought were possible and proving the skeptics wrong each and every day.

Finally, a change of scenery. As I type this I'm giving Huntington Beach it's 2-week notice that I'm Audi 5000 as I head back to Seattle for a couple months. Right now, I don't think it's a permanent move but I'm also going to spend the next couple months up there taking stock of everything and figuring out what's important to me and if moving back to SoCal is the right thing for me or not. I'm really excited about this move. I'll be spending time with my sister, Mom and the rest of my family up there who I've not lived near for 15 years now. I'll also be reconnecting with high school friends and experiencing, as an adult, one of my favorite cities which is really exciting. I'm sure I'll miss being here in SoCal but I've been really jaded as of late and it's good I'm leaving now before I start to hate it which is never a good thing.

So there ya go. I'm gonna try and post humor, writing, links, music, food, everything I love about life and the Internets on a more regular basis and try to make your day more enjoyable if only for a couple minutes :)

Until next time...hopefully sooner than 3 months...

The Quote Fish

4 years ago I had a surfboard made by Manuel Caro under his Mandala label. I never have a "normal" custom board made but instead opt for very crazy artwork or designs and such. It suits my personality as the last thing I really want is a plain white board that looks like 95% of the boards you see in the water; that's not Bryan Mills. Hell, the only white colored board I have has bright red glass-on fins on it, so take that conformity!

This board I called the "Quote Fish" as it was adorned on the bottom with excepts of some very inspirational and meaningful quotes in my life.

I rode this board yesterday and had one of the best sessions I've had in a year. The conditions @ Middles (Trestles) and eventually Church's due to the drift were outstanding with little to no wind and perfectly peeling shoulder high+ waves on offer. I went with a good friend Shane and we were both stoked we got out of the house and gave it a shot as we were overly surprised with how good it was and how much fun we had. It was probably the best I'd surfed in a year and was a fitting end to a very exciting and rewarding week.

As I rode the board yesterday I was reminded of why I chose those quotes. There was just something special about the session and the waves and the way I was surfing; I was in a "zone" and I remembered that these inspirational quotes were under my feet the entire time for the first time in a long time.

It was more than just a surf session, it was a wake up call; a reminder that these quotes actually mean something to me. They are inspirational, yes, but more accurately they are a description of my life and a certain "fire" inside that I'd all but lost over the last couple years...but recently re-discovered. I am regaining the spirit and confidence I once had that that propelled me into these new experiences and challenges in life head on and when the dust settled, there I was: better in every way imaginable.

That one surf session with this board yesterday has really re-ignited the flame inside of me that was the inspiration for this quote on the board: "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

That's me...I'm back. That's exactly where I am right now and I am STOKED...


Here are the quotes that are under my feet when I'm surfing this board and a description of my life, always...

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson


"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

-- Henry David Thoreau


"Nay, be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought"

-- Henry David Thoreau


"To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson


"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity; But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."

-- T. E. Lawrence

I LOL'd myself when I first saw this...

What a Rolex means to me

I used to be gainfully employed in the mortgage industry, running my own shop. Now, not so much. I ran the company with a partner who moved up to Seattle a year after we started it so for all intents and purposes I ran the company all by myself for 8 years. When I started that company late in 2001 I had nothing. Furthermore, I abandoned everything I had to start it as I was in Kansas City and my partner was in Los Angeles. I thought nothing of it at the time because I had nothing to tie me down other than a lot of friends and love for Kansas and KC, both of which I miss(ed) dearly.

Flash forward to 2003. The mortgage company had been moderately successful, which is to say it was successful enough that it let me live the modest life I enjoyed though I was by no means "flourishing" and making a wild excess of money; far from it. That winter the business had dried up and I had gone months without a paycheck, which was nothing new as I was used to the feast/famine aspect of the mortgage indsutry. The difference was, this time the famine had lasted longer than I had expected and the prospects were few and far between. I was literally down to my last dime and had enough money in my account to pay off another month of expenses then I was looking to work at Best Buy to hopefully keep a roof over my head as the creditors one by one started asking for their money back and presumably I'd fail miserably at the money game.

I then started processing a loan that I picked up out of nowhere and closed it and got enough money to pay my expenses for like 2 more months. Then 3 loans came through over the course of 3 months, a couple more here and there and before I knew it I had the most successful year that I would ever have in the 9 years that I've done loans. I wrote the largest check I have ever written (still is the largest) to pay off almost all of the debt that I had racked up in just keeping myself afloat and felt this burden lifted from my shoulders as I was turning a new leaf. I went on a cruise with my family over Thanksgiving in 2004. While in St Thomas I abandoned logic/reason and bought myself a Rolex Submariner watch. It was a reward for such a great year, but more importantly it was a reminder of the effort and struggle that I went through to be in a position to buy it. I still look at that watch and think of what it means to me and what it symbolizes: hard work, success, failure, persistence.

Flash forward to today. I find myself in a very similar place as I was in 2003, struggling to get this trading endeavor off the ground and gain the confidence and experience to trade successfully and be consistently profitable after my mortgage business went tits up. The differences is, this time I love what I do and I want to be doing it not just for the monetary gains but for all the other things it gives me that cannot be measured with dollars and cents. This is a scary business. If you perform poorly at your job you might get yelled at, miss a sale or maybe not even have any consequences. Me, if I perform badly at my job I lose my money. There's no salary, no 401(k), no benefits plan, nothing to lean on. I wouldn't want it any other way but to everyone on the outside they see what I do as complete and utter lunacy, and I can't blame them.

I've always been a risk taker and my ability to just go out and "do it" has been severely tested while trading and I need to be reminded of that cavalier attitude that I've had my entire adult life. I left Redmond in 1995 and started a new life @ KU. I left Kansas in 2001 to start a new company and new life in LA. I abandoned mortgages to start trading my own account a year ago. I have a history of being able to take those chances and those leaps and I just have to keep reminding myself that although what I'm doing is extremely difficult and very unrewarding from a monetary standpoint in the beginning, in the end it all works out so long as I keep doing what I do best: persist. I don't know many people that could do what I've done and taken the chances that I have over the last 15 years or so and that's a very sobering but exhilarating feeling for me and the spark that I need to keep that flame lit deep inside, especially when you operate in a business that I do where regular failure is necessary for ultimate success.

My days of searching and discovery of who I am and what I want to do are over. This is the person I want to be and the professional life I want to live and I don't want to keep re-inventing myself and rising like a phoenix from the ashes, I just want to keep pushing myself to be the best, doing what I love. So after a good pep talk with a dear friend today, I'll be keeping that watch on the desk in front of me at all times as a reminder that I've not only been here before but by working hard, experiencing successes and failures--and most of all persisting--I have no fear and no doubt that I will succeed at what I do...

YouTube Tuesday: Last Train to Awesometown

My obsession with Parry Gripp continues, as should your obsession with Parry's quirky and incredibly catchy tunes.

Today, I give you a song that should be a part of your morning routine to get you amped for the day. Whether you're tackling traffic and hatin' co-workers or getting ready for the big game you'll surely be inspired by 5 different kinds of nachos..whaaa????

Just watch...

Foodspotting

I've been remiss in posting about this and figured it was time to do so...

I joined the beta version of this site a few months back and they've really been upping their game and making improvements and enhancements to both the website and iPhone application and I think everyone should sign up. Here's how it works...

You go to a restaurant or some public place serving food, take a photo of the specific dish you got, upload the photo to the site, write a little review (if you'd like) and then others can search for that specific dish (let's say, spicy tuna roll) or set a location (say, Huntington Beach, CA) and search for a food type (like sushi) or restaurant (like Tuna Town) or just search for all foods near them. Then when you find what you're looking for you can see an actual photo of the food and hopefully get an honest review of it and the restaurant. Users can also "NOM" a food, indicating it's one of their favorite foods and that they recommend it to other users and you can NOM other foods you've had though did not post an actual spotting of that food. You start with 10 NOM's and earn the ability to NOM more foods as you post more foods; it's pretty fun.

iPhone users have the added convenience of being able to upload photos and reviews directly from their phone, NOM foods and basically do everything the website allows but with the added convenience of being mobile; it's really slick. Restaurant information is available as well as tying into Google Maps in order to help you contact and find the place a food was spotted as well as see push pins on a map of all places near you that where food has been spotted.

It's super fun to see some of the foods that are posted from all over the world and get inspired to try something new or try a restaurant you'd heard of but never knew anyone that had tried it. If this picks up in popularity (if volume of food spottings and reviews is any indicator, it already has) then it has the ability to be an incredibly useful guide as you could go to a restaurant and see photos of dozens of dishes they have to offer and read unbiased reviews, all before the waiter even drops off a menu.

So, add something to the community and make discovering great food a super fun and simple process!

Sign up for free to become a Foodspotter...

www.foodspotting.com

iPhone application (opens a link in iTunes)

YouTube Tuesday: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.....

Besides Journey's "Separate Ways" is there a song, video and band that you'd put in the music time capsule as the entry for 80's hair band more fitting than The Final Countdown by Europe? I didn't think so. Here's what The Final Countdown has got in this awesomely, awesome video:

• BIG hair
• BIG outfits
• Androgynous lead singer
• The "goofy" band member, in this case the drummer with his oh-so-silly running shorts and bandanna
• Synthesizers
• Makeup
• High school A/V Club quality video effects
• Empowering lyrics and chord progressions
• Pyrotechnics
• 50+ piece drum kit
• Extremely confusing "story" to the video
• Gratuitous live concert footage
• Aerial band shots on the roof, taken from a helicopter
• Groupies
• EPIC guitar solo, with accompanying "lead guitar face"
• Band members holding gold albums for the press

If you find a better entry for the 80's hair band video to put in the time capsule, bring it...until then, it's The Final Countdown...

Holy sh*t I went to the greatest basketball school EVER

I'm done mourning KU's untimely loss. I'm moving on and after some choice comments from the ever classy MU fans and other people who just love to hate on KU at every misstep, I needed something to pick me up; remind me of how good great KU really is. So, I started digging around...

Here are some facts taken from the Wikipedia entry for KU Men's Basketball. If there was ever any doubt that KU is THE blue-blooded, undisputed alpha dog of NCAA Men's college basketball, just read this and if you're still not convinced then you're an idiot. In no particular order of importance with some pretty unbelievable facts highlighted for your convenience...

• Kansas leads Division I in all-time in conference titles with 53 in 103 years of conference play
• In the last two decades (ending with the 2009-2010 season), no team won more games than the Jayhawks, who won 571 games
• KU has the longest current streak of consecutive NCAA tournament appearances with 21

 sidenote: The NCAA Tournament was created in 1939 by the National Association of Basketball Coaches and was the brainchild of coach Phog Allen (you're welcome, college basketball fans)

• Since the NCAA began seeding the tournament in 1979, KU has never been lower than an 8 seed (their average seed is a 3) and since that time KU has only missed the tournament 5 times
• Second-longest current streak of winning seasons, at 27
• First among Division I schools in winning seasons, conference championships and first-team All Americans
• Second in wins with 2003
• First in NCAA history with 91 winning seasons.
• KU has had the fewest head coaches (eight) of any program that has been around 100 or more years (the other "blue bloods" with 100+ year history: KY has had 22, UCLA 12 and UNC 18)
• They have reached the Final Four under more head coaches (six) than any other program in the nation
• Every head coach at Kansas since the inception of the NCAA Tournament has led the program to the Final Four
• Kansas has had four head coaches inducted into the Naismith Hall of Fame, more than any other program in the nation.
• Current longest home court wining streak @ 59
• 30 McDonald's All Americans
• 14 Academic All Americans
• 6 National Player of the Year honors
• 13 Final Four appearances
• 5 National Championships

Oh and it bears mention that KU is a magnet for college basketball coaching legends. Dean Smith and Adolph Rupp (2 of the greatest, coaches of all time) played @ KU under Phog Allen along with Dutch Lonborg, and Ralph Miller, all of whom have been inducted as coaches to the National Basketball Hall of Fame. In that regard, I guess Kentucky and UNC owe KU a pretty giant THANK YOU (they are, after all, the #1 and #3 winningest programs in NCAA history due mostly to the efforts of Rupp and Smith, respectively). How's this for small world: John Wooden helped build Memorial Stadium in 1929 after being recruited by Phog Allen to play @ KU. Oh and Larry Brown is the only coach to have won a championship in both the NCAA and NBA.

There you have it. Super stoked to be a Jayhawk it never ceases to amaze me at the excellence and tradition of Kansas Basketball.

Love for KU, as forged by playing in Basketball Band

There are 4 things that I truly love in this world:

Katie
My Family
Brisbane
The University of Kansas, most notably KU Basketball

I don't expect anybody to ever understand the last one on that list. There's a bond that was forged back in 1995 that continues as strong--if not stronger--to this day.

You see, every year I was @ KU I was in the Men's Basketball Band. I played at every home basketball game and traveled with the band to the Big 12 Tournament and NCAA Tournaments each year. I was spoiled. I came to expect that we would go to The Dance and with the exception of maybe 1 year KU was one of the 3-4 teams that the experts had picked to make a run to the Final Four. We never made the Final Four. In fact, in all but 1 year, KU was bounced in the round of 8 or earlier. So, you might say that the entire basketball experience was a disappointment but it was anything but. I'm a big "enjoy the journey, not the destination" sort of guy and the journey was filled with some pretty incredible moments that solidified my love for the University and the tradition of KU Basketball.

After a stinging loss to Rhode Island, their band had just finished playing some song and were celebrating wildly and we began to play our Alma Mater. About 3/4 through the song Rhode Island's band began playing some song (you're supposed to alternate playing songs); a shitty arrangement of an even shittier 70's or 80's uptempo tune, like Celebrate by Kool and the Gang. When we had finished and began packing our stuff I stormed to the other side of the court and got in the director's face and said "you're a f*cking no class asshole and you, your band and your University can go to hell..." He barked back at me and didn't think it was such a big deal to interrupt us during our alma mater and said I was out of line and their interruption showed no disrespect, which pretty much proved my point. After a generous middle finger and a few more pleasantries exchanged with him and other Rhode Island band folk I went back to mourn the loss and disappointment.

After that same loss I was standing with the rest of the band in the tunnel underneath the stands and Roy Williams exited the press room, tears flowing (as had become a common fixture of Roy Williams in the NCAA Tournament) and he walked towards us and shook our hands and as he shook my hand he looked me straight in the eyes with extreme sorrow and said "I'm sorry I let you down..." Jesus. Here's this guy who I looked up to as one of the greatest college coaches ever and he's sorry he let me down? Ugh...that was heavy.

Several years later when Roy bailed on KU to leave for UNC days after our loss in the national championship game to Syracuse, I wrote him a letter and told him that this time I was sorry he let me down. That's the kind of love and passion I have for Kansas Basketball...

In some way--large or small--I felt like a part of the tradition of the excellence that is KU Basketball and the University. I played a role in making the basketball experience a memorable one for each and every one of those players, coaches and fans. Allen Fieldhouse is a sort of place of worship for me. There were some incredible memories in that building, some tears of joy and sorrow and a lot of love shared by the rest of the people that were a part of that tradition both on and off the court, especially the countless friendships forged through playing in bball band.

When KU won the National Championship in 2008 I cried my brains out. Why? Because I was a part of that tradition. I helped make KU what it was in 2008 (however minuscule my impact may have been) and all my love and devotion to KU that had gone unfulfilled with a National Championship while I was there had finally come to fruition. I'd love to win that thing every year but even just winning it that 1 time was unbelievably special.

For all those reasons and hundreds more to list, I take anything KU very personally. Their loss in the 2nd round this past weekend was extremely difficult to handle. They were so good. They were hands down the best team @ KU in the past 15 years I've been a Jayhawk and head and shoulders better than any other team in the NCAA. Are they any worse of a team now? No way. The NCAA Tournament proves that the "best" team rarely wins. I'm extremely disappointed with their effort and that's what hurts. Had they played like they did in all but maybe 2 or 3 games this year there's not a team in the NCAA that can touch them. Sadly, they were out-hustled and outplayed by a team with nothing to lose and an incredible amount of luck on their side, which scrappy teams like UNI need to win games and I applaud them for their efforts; they deserved to win. It wasn't KU's day, plain and simple, and it came at the most inopportune time.

So, for all the KU haters out there... Ya know what: you're right that KU totally screwed the pooch; have your fun. But realize in the process that you're proving you're no different than Rhode Island's band: classless. Oh don't get me wrong, I loathe MU but I save that for when we meet. I'll talk all the shit I can when KU/MU meet or we play some other rival but any other time I'll keep my mouth shut, save for the funny harmless little joke here and there...but no hate. Hell, every year during the NCAA's I root for ALL Big 12 teams and their success until we meet (including MU); then I'm ready to kick your ass. We're all on the same team (Big 12) and what's the point in rooting for some other team's demise if you're not playing them?

I guess maybe I hold KU to a higher standard; one that's respectful of rivals, that doesn't engage in pointless mockery and hate for the purpose of being...well, hateful. KU always has and always will be the good guy and the good guy knows when his opponent is defeated and let's them stew in their misery, alone. I root FOR KU not against MU or some other team; that's a big distinction of school pride that I think is lost on many people out there and that's too bad. There's a finite amount of energy out there, so why waste it on all the negativity?

In the end, I'm proud to be a Jayhawk; to be part of a tradition of excellence that's enviable enough that rivals and jealous folks feel it necessary to point out at every misstep that you failed, whilst ignoring their own traditions of mediocrity, jealousy and hate. It was a really fun season to watch with an extremely disappointing ending but that's how it goes sometimes. I'm excited for next year and every year of KU Basketball, no matter the expectations or outcome, because KU Basketball is more than just X's and O's...it's all about LOVE.

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK

Tradezilla Part 4: It's ALIVE

 Hi. My name is Tradezilla and I'll be your bad-ass trading machine today.

With Tradezilla assembled and a quick double check of all the connections and power hookups all set it was go time: will it start?

I plug it into the wall and have the side of the case off to monitor what goes down as I flip the switch. I partly wondered if this was a good idea as stuff might come flying off or electric currents may arc wildly from a shorted wire like a Tesla machine.

Much to my excitement (and maybe even disappointment) it started up without issue. Part of me was hoping for a big old problem I'd have to spend hours fixing, but I got nothing. Actually it did pop up the black/white screen informing me that there was a problem with the CMOS settings. Pressing F1 took me to the BIOS and I made an adjustment to the system clock, saved the changes and exited.

It rebooted, again, and this time gave me the POST beep indicating that the MoBo was working properly and the monitor went black and simply said:

"Please insert operating system into boot drive."

That's it. That's it? I insert the Windows 7 disk, and about 10 minutes later I'm in Internet Explorer testing out my Internet connection, which worked without any problems?

There has to be something wrong, right? Nope. The whole process was strikingly simply and effortless. Maybe I got lucky, maybe I'm good; whatever it is I just built a computer in a couple hours and had it fully operational within 15 minutes of pressing the power button. The last XP install I did took 3-4x longer and I'm not sure if this quick install is due to Windows 7 or the hardware I'm using...probably a combo of both.

What's even better about this build is what I got and what it cost. Tradezilla cost me $718.15 including tax/shipping and bear in mind that I used my dual video card and an extra HDD from my old Dell.

I went to Dell and built a Core i7-920 with 6GB of RAM and the cheapest HDD and video card I could find and it came out to $1,133.14 with tax and shipping. Granted, this machine does include a 500GB HDD so there's some value there but at the same time it includes a basic single-output video card which is a step down.

Total savings: $414.99

What Tradezilla is missing vs. the aforementioned Dell:

 - 1-year warranty with Dell
 - Anti-virus software that cannot be removed
 - Various bloatware installed by Dell to run certain background programs and such
 - Proprietary motherboard and PSU, not easily/cheaply replaceable

Would I recommend building a computer to others? Absolutely! Are you kidding me? Look at how much money was saved and what I'm missing by building my own. Bear in mind that I DO have warranties for all the individual components of similar length as what Dell was offering but the difficulty comes in diagnosing the problems and getting the appropriate manufacturer to provide service. If you're a simple home user with no technical knowledge and call a friend or relative to diagnose error messages and such then this route isn't for you. You DO need to have some technical wherewithal and ability to do simple troubleshooting and such as you build and install stuff but that's it; no engineering degree required. It's a fun, very rewarding process and I'll be building all my PC's from now on.

Down the line I'll discuss the improvements in performance and such versus the old Dell but suffice it to say: Tradezilla is a total effing BEAST :)

Tradezilla Part 3: The Build

With all the parts here, it's time to build Tradezilla.

The ingredients necessary to make this dish

I didn't have too much in the way of concern going into the build as the entire process is pretty simple.

Virgin MoBo

First off, I installed the CPU into the socket on the motherboard. This was actually a little sketchy. The pins on the CPU (and there are a TON of them) don't sink into anything just they just press against and make contact with the socket. When you secure the CPU to the MoBo the device holding it down has a boatload of tension on it and as you swing the arm into the hook to hold it down all you can think is "how the hell is this right?!" But, it all worked out in the end.

Next up, CPU fan. Pretty easy. Although it makes solid contact with the head of the CPU it doesn't require as much effort in the way of connecting it to the MoBo, which I found surprising.

Onto the RAM. It's funny how much easier RAM can be installed when you're not digging your hands into a case like a surgeon reaching into a chest cavity.

Here's the completed MoBo, mofos...

OK, here's where we ran into the only problem I had with assembly: attaching MoBo to the case. I was an idiot and forgot to install the I/O panel on the back of the case so after spending 10 minutes trying to screw in a few screws that were just impossibly difficult to access I had to rip the whole thing out and do it again. Wah wah...

Power supply slid into place easily and here comes the fun part: attaching all the power leads. Finding the leads isn't the issue, getting the power to the leads with a bottom mounted PSU is where it got interesting. I sort of expected this as power supplies are normally installed on the top of the case and the power connectors on the MoBo assume this as well but with the bottom mounted PSU a couple of the cords had to be stretched out quite a bit. In the end it all worked out; w00t.

Optical drive, HDD were the last things installed and once those were in it was time to see if this thing works or is one of the most expensive paper-weights I've ever created (cuz there HAVE been other DIY jobs go awry...)

All the ingredients in the bowl...time to throw it into the oven and see if it cooks (lame, but effective analogy)

Last Tradezilla build post forthcoming...

YouTube Tuesday: This Too Shall Pass

OK Go! Makes super awesome videos. Check out their latest for This Too Shall Pass in which they build a horribly complicated, yet awesome, Rube Goldberg machine.

Enjoy!

Tradezilla Part 2: The Stuff

Here's a list of the items that I'm using to build Tradezilla.

CPU

 

1x - Intel Core i7 920 Quad-Core @ 2.66GHz

This processor is beast. It's quad-core and takes advantage of Intel's Hyperthreading technology so the least of my concerns in any task should be processing power. There are other processors out there I could go with to use on the motherboard I'm using but this one was a steal on sale for $200 and is widely regarded as the greatest value in the Intel lineup, if not on either platform. I went with Intel architecture because...well, I don't know why exactly. Every computer I have ever owned has been Intel (including the Macs) so I guess I'm just an Intel guy for life.

Motherboard

1x - ASRock X58 Extreme LGA 1366 Intel X58 ATX

I chose this MoBo for several reasons. First, it was very highly rated/reviewed from many sources. It's an "entry-level" board but it's solidly built and some of the features it offers are only found on higher end boards which leads me to decision #2: price. I don't need a MoBo with all sorts of features that make it fantastic for overclocking and I have very limited I/O needs so some of the features found on boards well above this price point were a complete waste and I opted to budget the savings elsewhere.

RAM

3x - OCZ Gold Tri Channel PC10666 DDR3 Memory - 1333MHz, (2GB sticks, so 6GB total)

I've used OCZ stuff in the past and haven't had any issue and it's some of the cheapest RAM out there so it was the logical choice. There are faster speeds of memory but triple-channel DDR3 @ 1333MHz is basically twice as fast as I'm running right now, and 2x more RAM in total.

Graphics Card

1x - XFX GeForce 7600 GS / 256MB GDDR2

Part of the way I'm keeping the cost of Tradezilla down is by cannibalizing a couple parts from my current trading machine. One of the key parts I'm using is the dual-DVI video card (I have the OEM card which I will be putting back in that machine). It's nothing fancy, it just has dual-DVI outputs for my monitors. In the future I may add another dual card as the MoBo has 3 PCIe x16 slots on in, which means that I could theoretically run a 24 monitor setup (3x cards with 8 outputs) but even I can agree that's a bit overkill...for now :)

Hard Disk Drive

1x - Western Digital Caviar SE WD3200JD 320GB

This is another part I'm cannibalizing from the current trading machine. It has dual HDD's in it and by taking this one (currently used as a backup, which is now obsolete since the Time Capsule handles backups) the current machine will still be operational.


Optical Drive

1x - LG GH22NS40 DVD Writer

Past installing the OS, I don't ever see me using this drive. All the software I use is downloaded from the vendors and any ripping/burning of CD's and DVD's is accomplished here on the iMac mothership. I went with cheap and it just happened to be highly rated; bonus.

Case

1x - Thermaltake V3 Black Edition Mid Tower

I had a few criteria when selecting a case:
1. Quality
2. Low price
3. Don't look like a computer gamer's wet-dream

This case satisfies all 3 criteria. It looks really nice/professional and it's from a very good name. It's a bit unorthodox as the power supply mounts at the bottom for better cooling and doesn't make the machine top heavy, so we'll see how that works with the build-out; might have issues with cable length. However, it has one feature that I will be changing. The 120mm fan at the rear of the case has blue LED lights on it, which I find extremely annoying. Thankfully, fans are dirt cheap so I'll just drop $5 and get one that won't look like I'm trying to start a dance party in the office.

Power Supply Unit

1x - Coolmax 500-Watt Modular Power Supply

My homeboy Kuka recommended a modular power supply as you can pick and choose which power cables you need and leave the rest off. This assists in not cluttering up the case with unused wires and provides a much smoother/cleaner airflow which assists in cooling. I calculated the minimum power requirements for this system and the most I could come up with by maxing the output of the components and such was 233 watts. So, 500W should be plenty. It was nicely priced and should I need to upgrade down the line it won't be a big loss.

Operating System

1x - Windows 7 Home Premium 64-Bit

This was sort of a no-brainer. I have no real issues with XP other than the fact it downloads updates constantly and there is a 64-bit version of XP out there but I figured if I'm going for top of the line I should dabble in Microsoft's newest/best OS. It's 64-bit, rather than 32, which is fantastic. All the trading software I use is compatible with Win7, it will run faster, more efficiently and really take advantage of the hardware/architecture it's operating within. Win7 is basically what MSFT wanted Vista to be, which in time I'm sure will be known as Windows Me 2.0...and if you know anything about OS's you know that's a pretty shameful honor.

Miscellaneous

There may be little things here and there I'll have to get like extension cables if the placement of the power supply at the bottom poses a problem, extra case fans and such but for now before I start assembling everything this is it; this is the "meat" of Tradezilla. You technically wouldn't "need" anything else to build a machine and the components chosen here are all exactly what I want/need.

Tradezilla Part 1: The 5 W's

OK, let's do this!

Project codename: TRADEZILLA

Why

Well, I noticed a month ago or so that the charting was lagging BIG TIME on my current trading machine, like when the markets are really humming along and the volume is flying I might be 4-5 ticks and several bars behind what my execution software would display. They both get the same data from the exchanges but since the execution software is not charting/processing that data in any way, it's obviously to be trusted as the "real" price. I could remedy this by not charting as many instruments, chart resolutions and such but that sort of defeats the purpose of trading/monitoring multiple markets. Grated, this only happens in extreme circumstances and with some proper housecleaning and habits on the current trading machine (like not having tons of charts open at once) I could probably get by just fine 90% of the time. But, by upgrading my hardware I would see a quantifiable increase in performance and decrease in things like lag and probably be able to get by 99% of the time and have a platform that will let me grow and accomplish more tasks that I just cannot currently accomplish with my current setup.

What

We'll get into the specific components in a later post, but this is what the machine is going to be built around.

Intel Core i7 920 Quad-Core @ 2.66GHz

The Core i7 is basically the highest end "mainstream" processor that Intel makes, built on similar architecture to their highest end chips the Xeons which are used for servers and other processor intensive applications. This processor is built on the LGA1366 processor interface, which is where Intel is dumping all of their consumer product development and this processor is actually the "base model" processor built on the LGA1366 architecture. That's good because there is a clear upgrade path to follow including the forthcoming hex-core processors. I almost went with a Core i5 but the problem with that processor was that it maxed out at a slightly slower Core i7 processor built on a different architecture so there really wasn't an upgrade path to speak of. Spend about $100 more for a faster processor and a clear upgrade path? I think the decision was a no-brainer...

When

Now. Like, I started this project yesterday by acquiring a case, processor and power supply sort of NOW! The motherboard, RAM, operating system and optical drive were ordered today. I hope to have the project complete within a couple weeks and while I want it done ASAP I'd rather take my time and do it right and since I already have a machine that works pretty well there's no urgency.

Who

George Bush. No, me you fools! I'm building it with the help and support of 100's of 1000's of other homebrew enthusiasts out there that can offer help and advice along the way.

Where

Deleware...street! OH!! Man, you totally fell for that one. I got you good blog readers...

It might be a couple days until I post again on TRADEZILLA as I'd like to have all the components here and get a group shot before we assemble everything. So hang loose and we'll talk more homebrew PC's shortly...

Who needs Dell?

First off, hey everybody. I haven't been blogging as of late, but you knew that. It's been a very busy/exciting time for me and while I have lots to talk about I've just not made the time to do it on here...but that will soon change. Anyway...

I'm fed up with Dell, people. Let me explain...

A little over a month ago I ordered a new computer from Dell. This machine was going to replace my current trading setup as I'm running into limitations that just cannot be addressed by throwing more RAM in the box and wiping the drive of all the bloatware and such; there are legitimate bottlenecks and constraints on what it can do and what I need it to do. It literally took 4 attempts (3 online and 1 on the phone) to place the order and the phone call involved no less than 13 transfers and 1.5 hours of my time. This was the beginning of the end of my relationship with Dell; a relationship that has spanned 15 years and at least 8 computers, maybe more.

So, the order was finally placed with an estimated delivery date of 2/25. Well, 2/25 comes and the date is pushed to 3/4. 3/4 comes and the date is pushed to 3/11, no explanation offered by Dell. In order to keep the order active I had to tell them to move forward or else cancel the order. After pondering the whole situation for a while I came up with the difficult decision.

I broke up with Dell. Their customer service during this process was abhorrent and this was NOT the same Dell I fell in love with 15 years ago; quite divergent, actually. But, I think the thing that pissed me off the most was the creation of the computer I wanted/needed. It was impossible. I had a list of items I wanted and didn't want and I could not create it no matter how hard I tried, what avenue I used, who I spoke to. Dell force-feeds you what they think you want based not on the customer desires but on things such as profit margin, availability of components, partnerships, etc. I'll save the conspiracy theory talk but to sum it up, Dell was just NOT a fit for me anymore.

That's it. No more Dell. The problem still remains that I need a new trading machine, so what am I gonna do? To put it simply: I'm going rogue; a maverick, off the radar. I am building my first PC. This is simultaneously super exciting and scary as hell. But, this way I will be building EXACTLY what I want with no compromises whatsoever.

Details of the build are forthcoming and I'll be documenting the entire project from start to finish and figure this is a good way to get me back into the blogging groove...

OK, next time we'll detail what I'm building and kick this thing off proper-like!