Sunday, August 15, 2010

I'm back...sort of

WOW. April 19th? That's the last time I've posted anything here? That's not good. Not going to make any excuses, but if I were, here's what I'd say.

It's been a crazy last 3+ months here...like Britney Spears shaving her head crazy. Big changes happening right now in our Hero's life but all GOOD stuff. First off, I'm single. Yeah, what are ya gonna do. I was pretty bummed out at first but now that I've had time to think about it I'm not only OK with it I think it was/is the best thing for me and I've got a level of clarity, freedom and focus now that I've lacked maybe my entire life. I can't really explain it but I know what I want now, I know what makes me happy, what inspires me, what matters in my life; shit that I'd neglected or just not expressed fully in 33 years. It's not all from this breakup but through that event I've spent a lot of time evaluating everything in my life and identifying things that I've sacrificed for a LONG time, things I've lost touch with about myself and I just had one of those "a-ha" moments where I could go back and look at failed relationships, failed business ventures, friendships, missed opportunities and so forth and truly identify who I am, who I'm not and what I want. So needless to say, I'm pretty happy right now; maybe the happiest I've ever been. It sucks that it took the loss of a relationship and a couple years of real adversity in so many aspects of my life to get there but maybe that was the ONLY way I was ever going to get there, ya know?

Second, I sort of have a business partner I'm working with. He's more of a sponsor and I'll be trading on his behalf but we nonetheless view the relationship as a business venture which is awesome. My mentor Bill finally completed his opus Sentinel and is releasing the software any day now which is where my partner comes in. He'd like to use the software for his own trading account but would like to leverage my knowledge and skills and ability to actually perform the trades on his behalf. So, it's gonna work out famously as we're both bringing a very important piece of the puzzle to the table and without each other it's unlikely that we'd individually be able to achieve the success that's possible from the two of us working together. I'm really excited about working with him and using this new software that is quite possibly the most effective trading software/system that's ever been developed and it's only being marketed to myself and less than 200 other traders who are students of my mentor and his methodology. It feels very empowering to be a part of such a small, focused group of traders that are doing things that nobody ever thought were possible and proving the skeptics wrong each and every day.

Finally, a change of scenery. As I type this I'm giving Huntington Beach it's 2-week notice that I'm Audi 5000 as I head back to Seattle for a couple months. Right now, I don't think it's a permanent move but I'm also going to spend the next couple months up there taking stock of everything and figuring out what's important to me and if moving back to SoCal is the right thing for me or not. I'm really excited about this move. I'll be spending time with my sister, Mom and the rest of my family up there who I've not lived near for 15 years now. I'll also be reconnecting with high school friends and experiencing, as an adult, one of my favorite cities which is really exciting. I'm sure I'll miss being here in SoCal but I've been really jaded as of late and it's good I'm leaving now before I start to hate it which is never a good thing.

So there ya go. I'm gonna try and post humor, writing, links, music, food, everything I love about life and the Internets on a more regular basis and try to make your day more enjoyable if only for a couple minutes :)

Until next time...hopefully sooner than 3 months...

5 comments:

Laurnie said...

Holy shit, I had no idea. Ive been so off the grid lately! Hoping it wasnt a bitter breakup, and incredibly jealous you are going to Seattle! Best of luck to you, and keep your blog updated!

bmills said...

No bitterness. It was her decision at first but now I've come to realize that it was the best thing that ever could have happened to me/us. Looking forward to Seattle...we'll see if/when I make it back :)

See ya round the blogospehere, Laurnie Dubs :)

Brian S. Brown said...

Holden McNeil, life is a great journey and every path we take hopefully adds substance to us, so that we become more than just the sum of our parts.

It sounds like a great chapter that you are about to open, from my own experience, I met you at just about the same time and came to know A LOT about myself and even more about my family. I was blessed to be around when my dad passed four years ago. The Divine One ALWAYS puts us in places that we need to be. Even more so, you never would have guessed that I would have a family of 5 back in 2000...you just never know.

But what you do know...is be ready...you never know when your set is gonna roll in.

Peace and Chicken Grease,

Hooper X

bmills said...

DOOD! BB!! I've got chills right now reading this! So good to hear you're still out there and doing great! Talked with Tatar the other day and we laughed about good times with you :)

I just added you as a friend on Facebook...I hope you accept :)

We'll talk soon, friend...

Holden MF McNeil

Brian S. Brown said...

Accepted invite. [In the style of McLovin] Chigga, chigga.

I finally gave in to FB 2 weeks ago, because I have be TERRIBLE with keeping up with everyone as my life has consumed me - growing up is a B*tch!

Look forward to more great stories, beers, jap balls, and depressing KU Basketball with ya.

Ill find Tatar in your FB friends list and hook up with him. He still in Chitown?