Monday, March 31, 2008

KU responsible for more grey hairs

First off, let me apologize to y'all. I've been a bad blogger as of late. The job I do for fun when I'm not blogging for money got wicked-busy in the last 5 days. WICKED BUSY! So, my blogging efforts and Brisbane's creative efforts have been lacking as of late. Oh yeah and couple that with my looming trip to Europe next Thursday (yikes!) and all the planning that goes into leaving the country for 12 days, visiting 4 other countries, picking up a car and getting life straightened away here and you might understand why the content here is funky...but not fresh. So, let's BLOG!!!!!!!


No way. We did it??!!

HOLY SH*T PEOPLE!!! I am so stoked right now that the most talented team KU has had since I became a Jayhawk managed to figure out a way to NOT blow it like they did in 1996 or 2006 or many other times in my 13 years as a Jayhawk, I'm sure. Oh, they tried their best to disappoint, believe me...but in the end the basketball Gods decided it wasn't gonna happen; not this year.


My MVP: Sasha Kaun. Here he is showing their big guys how to play above the rim.

With the ball in the hands of the best performer in the tournament--or even the country right now--and their team down 2 with 16 seconds left, Stephen Curry fell prey to stifling defense and had to give it up to some guy that wasn't Curry and the shot sailed left.

When the horn sounded I didn't know what just happened. Did we win? No way. There had to be a foul or a scoring blunder; something was wrong. But why are the KU players jumping for joy? Why is Matt Kleinmann running the length of the floor?? Sit down you jackass...we're gonna get a technical and Davidson is gonna shoot free throws and tie it to go to OT!! Wait a second...Davidson's coach is walking slowly towards Bill Self, looking defeated. Scoreboard is on the screen. 59-57 KU. Oh. My. God. They did it. They won. They're going to the Final Four.


Great photo collage of yesterday's festivities (click to enlarge)

In all honesty, I had faith from the opening tip. I wasn't cocky that we'd win going into the game, but I had a feeling this team wouldn't disappoint. I knew they'd try to blow it, but not this year; this year is different...special. I knew we were OK from about 3:35 onward. Curry couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and the rest of the team started to look scared and look to him for guidance as they had the 3 games prior. But, he couldn't carry the team one more game. He was spent and his performance showed it. If he had gas left in his tank, he would have got free and taken the shot...and probably make it. While the KU players all looked nervous and feared they would screw it up, they had life in them and they got back to the 1 thing this team does best: play team defense. And defense wins championships...

Don't get me wrong: Davidson is for real. Curry is a superfreak and that team is the best 10-seed that tournament will ever see; best 4 seed that tournament will ever see. Much kudos to them for their incredible run, but as a good friend of mine said "Davidson doesn't understand. We're supposed to play UNC and that's just how it goes..."

And that, my friends...is EXACTLY how it goes...


All KU, all week my friends. Let's get amped for the Final Four!!!!

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

YouTube Tuesday - Kelly

For YouTube Tuesday, I'm going a little surfy surfy on ya today.

If one man and one wave could illustrate the feeling of being a surfer and how dynamic and incredible the experience is, that one man would be Kelly Slater and that one wave would be Rincon. Kelly's weapon of choice? A fish. Bitchin.



Trestles gets all the hype in Southern California and deservedly so; it's a world class wave, no doubt about it. But I think the unsung hero; the hidden gem (if you can call a wave visible from the freeway and surfed by hundreds every day "hidden") is Rincon. You don't have to surf to know that wave is nothing short of amazing. Look how it just rolls on, never sectioning out, never losing steam, going on forever and never looking ominous or board-breaking. Obviously, Kelly makes it look easy (8-time world champs have a knack for doing that) but if seeing 1 man riding that wave having that much fun doesn't get you stoked and make you want to surf, then you weren't watching the same video :)

Friday, March 21, 2008

Spring cleaning

Spring is in the air. The NCAA Tournament is on, our clocks are sprung forward and the South swells are showing up with more regularity. So, it's time for my annual surfboard spring cleaning! That means all the ponies in the stable get a good cleaning: wax scraped off, deck wiped down, hardware checked, visual inspection, the whole nine yards.


This ball of wax has many memories of giant winter swells and cold ass water...and an afro pick on the back of its head.

I'm not one of those guys that has wax on his board from when Clinton was in office and tend to clean my boards regularly and put new wax on whenever possible. So, I decided to go a little crazy with the application this time and tried my hand at doing a little wax art on my Mandala quad fish, like in this photo (check out Barrel Surfboards for more cool stuff).


My version did not turn out nearly as impressive, but not a bad effort for attempt #1. I went for a springtime tree sort of thing. Ya know, it's spring and the board is green...new life is in bloom...things grow in the spring...Bueller?

If you look you can see the branches...or, something...there's a pattern here, people!

It's funny...of all the things out there, I've found there's no better way to get you stoked on a board or on surfing in general than by scraping a board down and putting on a fresh coat of wax.

Time to try it out! Catch ya later.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

March Madness

My favorite time of year is upon us: The Men's NCAA Basketball Tournament. Or, as the media has pounded into us: March Madness.

I'm especially excited because my Kansas Jayhawks are a #1 seed in the Midwest region and have a great team with lots of depth. Every year the KU hopeful compare the team to the 1988 Danny and The Miracles team that last won a championship for KU and this year is no different. But, I heard some interesting little factoids that give the KU hopeful something to chew on that maybe hold a bit more water than some of the other cockamamie tie-in's of years past (and believe me, there are TONS).

  • In 1988, KU played in Nebraska then on to Michigan en route to the Final 4. This year is no different.
  • In 1988 KU played Vanderbilt in the regional semi-finals. This year, they may meet in the same regional semi-finals.
  • In 1988, Kansas State was in the Midwest region along with KU. This year, both teams are in the Midwest region.
  • In 1988, KU faced a Lon Kruger coached team (Kansas State). This year, Lon Kruger coaches UNLV (KU's 2nd round opponent).
Total coincidence? I think not!!

OK, I'm not really that excited about those coincidences but I will admit that it did give me goosebumps when I first heard the similarities.

In all honesty, I do think that this year's team is the best prepared over any team I've followed in the last 13 years and stocked with the players and coaching staff necessary to make the 20-year anniversary of the 1988 Championship something special.

I remember I cried tears of joy the last time KU made the Final Four in 2003 and cried tears of sorrow when they lost to Syracuse in the finals. To say that I am deeply, emotionally and spiritually attached to KU Basketball is an understatement.

My prediction? KU vs UCLA in the final and the good guys send the Bruins home to Westwood with memories of a good season, but no trophy.

Rock Chalk!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

YouTube Tuesday

A little late, but check this out for YouTube Tuesday. Going back to my roots today with a little Sesame Street flashback: the pinball number count sequence! For those that don't remember this (read: anyone that's younger than about 28) it's from Sesame Street and it rules. The Pointer Sisters performed the song--which is super fun to hum aloud in elevators or in queues and see how many people start bobbing to it-- and it debuted just before I was born and stuck around for a while, before Sesame Street started to get weird...

Monday, March 17, 2008

Obligatory Irish post


Here's my 6'1" quad-fish...something green for St. Patrick's Day. NOT Irish.

I'm not Irish, I'm Scottish. I don't disagree with St. Patrick's Day I just don't really get why everyone pretends to be Irish for a day when they don't give a hoot the other 364 days. Oh yeah, that's right: an excuse to get sh*t-faced with no repercussions; a free-pass in the world of binge drinking. I, myself, don't really enjoy getting sh*t-faced...I prefer to get pissed. I like to think of St. Patrick's Day as Cinco de Mayo, but with Guinness and corned beef hash instead of Corona and tacos.


EVERY day is a lovely day for a Guinness, not just March 17th!!

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the folks that go out and celebrate the Irish blood that has never flowed through their veins, I just don't think it's fair to the Irish; belittles them by letting every Tommy, Colin and Seamus pretend to be Irish for a day under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol...and forget it all the next morning. It is fun and I've participated in the past, but I'm sort of over it now; binge drinking has lost its appeal. I'd prefer to drink a couple Guinness at my house with my dog and Katie and watch a move and sip some scotch tonight...but I'm not like the other kids.


Green beer is NOT natural. Walk away from the green beer, people...

Oh and I think people should at least know what or who they are celebrating. Check out all the other saints that are memorialized on March 17th...Saint Patrick isn't alone!


Irish Grimace?? C'mon, now...

So, to the millions and millions of people that choose to be Irish for one day of the year, have fun; I'll pass. Enjoy that pint of Guinness--much the same way you'll enjoy the Corona on Cinco de Mayo--but do everyone a favor and don't be a dumb-ass tonight; we all know there are enough dumb asses out there. Happy St. Patrick's Day.


Spiderman. NOT Irish

Friday, March 14, 2008

Giving credit where credit is fondue

Hard to believe that it took me 31 years to try eating melted cheese with cubes of bread on the end of a 1-foot, 2- pronged fork...but that wait is over. Birthday dinner: The Melting Pot. Yeah baby!

It was everything I had dreamed of, though admittedly I had never dreamed about fondue (thank god). After last night, though, I might find myself dreaming of falling off a cliff into a fondue pot with Gruyere and Emmenthaler cheese. Ever had that dream? The food was pretty damn good and the dessert was over the top, but I loved every graham cracker and piece of pound-cake dipped second of it. Will I go again? Absolutely. Will I be sure to work off 1000 calories prior to going? ABSOLUTELY.

I remember growing up that my parents had a fondue set that was strikingly similar to the one below. I enjoyed taking the forks and using them in place of the standard wider and shorter 4-pronged models typically found at the dinner table whenever I could; I never really got far with them and went back to the old stand-by every time. I had to try, though, ya know? Besides, the tops of the forks looked like the pegs from a Mastermind board game which I thoroughly enjoyed, so it was natural that I'd be drawn to the fondue forks for more than just novelty.

Doug & Sue Mills wedding registry item, no doubt

BTW, in my research of fondue I came across this wacky link to a "when fondue parties go bad" as hosted by 2 action figures. Oh and this piece of sheet music below seems to warn us of the inherent danger of mixing whiskey & fondue, in 6/8 time.



Yeah. And you thought I was strange...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Shameless self promotion


It's the cake that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. She's fast enough for you, old man...

I turned 31-years old today. Hooray for me! Shameless self-promotion? Yup. This is the one day I get to be a tool and make everything about ME. The other 364 days I get to play 2nd fiddle, but not today kids. This is in stark contrast to the deplorable fools on My Super Sweet 16 and an alarming number of women in Orange County...but that's a different post for a different day.

I'll post more about turning 31 later on; I'm just not really in the mood today and feel like being lazy. Sorry, folks...

To tide you over, here's everything you've ever wanted to know about March 13th. My favorite highlights would have to be...
  • 1781 - William Herschel discovers Uranus.
  • 1897 - San Diego State University is founded.
  • 1986 - Microsoft has its Initial public offering. (if only somebody would have given me 1 share for my birthday...)
Favorite birthday's would include...
  • 1764 - Earl Grey, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (love his tea!)
  • 1939 - Neil Sedaka, American singer and songwriter
  • 1950 - William H. Macy, American actor
  • 1972 - Common, American rapper
  • 1977 - Bryan Mills, American bad-ass
Notable deaths include...
  • 1906 - Susan B. Anthony, American women's suffrage activist
  • 1988 - John Holmes, American porn star
  • 2006 - Peter Tomarken, American game show host (Press Your Luck)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"The Bacon"

I pick up on little phrases, words and what not and I run with them. I especially like anything "douche" as I find it be a great descriptor for so many people, actions and situations. I coined the phrase "there's douchebaggery afoot" and love using it whenever possible. Feel free to use that one as you see fit, but remember your friend Bryan if anyone asks where you heard it first.

Well, I've come up with a new one that I think you'll be able to use in your everyday life.

"The Bacon"

That's it. The bacon means that something is simply the best, because let's face it: bacon is the ultimate. Let's use it in a sentence.

"That Bonzer is faster than any board I've ever ridden and so easy to surf, it makes even me look like I know what I am doing. It's the bacon."

I like it. Your results may vary, but I'm guessing you'll find the opportunity to use it quite often. Let's see what we can do to make this a part of the American lexicon.

Here's a little Jim Gaffigan singing the praises of bacon for your viewing pleasure. I guarantee Jim would say "the bacon." I think I'll forward him a link to this post; I'll let you know any response I may get from him.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

YouTube Tuesday - Indian Thriller!

OK, I have LOTS of Indian friends. I'm an honorary Indian, just ask anyone. I'm hoping this post doesn't offend any of my fellow Indian brethren and I think they'll actually get an even bigger laugh out of it as they may actually know what this guy is saying.

With that said, I found this the other day and thought you should check it out. This guy takes videos and then translates them as he sees fit with the English he thinks he hears in the Hindi words. It's wildly entertaining and this one in particular is great as it is a Indian version of Thriller, of sorts.


Monday, March 10, 2008

T minus 30 days




30 days, folks. Katie and I leave for Europe in 30 days. Are we going to see Big Ben and Parliament, like Clark Griswold and the family? Yes. Is that the reason we're going to Europe? No. We are going to Munich, Germany to pick up this...



Yup, a BMW 328i Sport Wagon, though mine is blue...and cooler, but that goes without saying. Extra storage for surfboards, dogs and outdoorsy stuff, NOT KIDS you life-in-fast-forward-thinking people.

We fly first to London for a couple days, then off to Munich to pick up the car, then turn around and fly to Paris for a few days, then fly back to Munich and drive to Salzburg for a couple days, then back to Munich and meet up with my sister and brother-in-law in Munich for 4 days and then we're back home. I hope I covered the whole itinerary; that was a wicked-long sentence.

More details to come...

Hierarchy of cereals part 3



We've saved the best for last.

This is the bacon of cereal; the ultimate breakfast fare. My love affair with Cap'n Crunch dates back probably 20 years and each bowl I have is better than the last. Over the years I have consumed every iteration of Cap'n Crunch, procured a recipe for chicken fingers with CC breading (sublime), and most recently I tried the CC milkshake from Carl's Jr.; a stellar concoction with real Cap'n Crunch bits suspended in dairy goodness! Not sure if you Hardee's folks will get that in your markets, but if you do you must give it a shot.

I correct people often on the spelling and pronunciation of CC; notice that it is Cap'n and not Captain...a common misconception. I'm also quick to point out that CC is part of a balanced breakfast and not just some sugary cereal sure to have your 5 year-old bouncing off the walls for 8 hours straight. I guess the fruit and piece of toast and sausage comprising the remaining parts of a balanced breakfast somehow counteract that, though I'm no nutritionist so what do I know.

CC is sublime for many reasons, most notably its sweet taste and that magic texture that will annihilate the roof of the mouth of an unsuspecting consumer. Here's a tip: if you let the CC sit for a few minutes, stand back; cereal Nirvana. The last bowl of CC is a treat to cherish. That yellow CC dust mixes in with the milk and makes this sweet nectar that is irresistible. If you really want to go crazy, pulverize a bunch of CC and mix it with some milk hang on.

If it's been a while since you ate Cap'n Crunch and worry that it has changed over the years, worry not. Like a comfy college sweater, CC is always like you remember it: comforting and unchanged by the cruel hands of time and innovation.

Learn all about the greatest breakfast cereal ever, right here.

Honorable Mention Cereals that didn't make the list, this time...
Corn bran
C3PO's
Golden Grahams
Cocoa Puffs
Cracklin Oat Bran

Friday, March 07, 2008

Kicked in the 'nads, once again

This season of American Idol has pretty much sucked. First, the ONLY guy I wanted to make it through to the final round (Kyle Ensley) was the last one eliminated in Hollywood and they sent that Colton guy through who sucked and was first eliminated in the final round. "Oklahoma" as I called him--he wanted to be the Governor of Oklahoma some day--was honestly the most charismatic, genuine contestant in the competition. He was goofy, yes, but the kid could sing. Was he gonna win? No, but he would have done way better than anyone thought he would do; a real inspiration. He was a "real" guy; one of us, not some musically trained wannabe trying to further their already failed or stagnant music career. So, Kyle Ensley, (wherever you are) I agree with Simon that you should have made it and I hope you become the Governor of OK; you didn't need this silly TV popularity contest.



Here's Kyle on Ellen

With Kyle gone and the rest of the competition a boring foregone conclusion since that 9 or 10 y/o kid David is gonna win, I needed a reason to watch.

Enter Danny Noriega. At least I have his overly flamboyant, androgynous fashion sense and gayer than Richard Simmons entertainment to look forward to each night. Oh, that's right...he was voted off last night by America in its infinite wisdom. Way to go, America: you eliminated this year's Sanjaya way too early and now the fun-factor of Idol has been reduced to a 1 out of 10.

So, Idol kicks me in the family jewels once again. Now that's pitchy, dog.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Hierarchy of cereals part 2

Picking up where we left off in the last hierarchy of cereal post, this is the continuation of a very prestigious list. Loaded with sugar, and taste, these next cereals will find themselves in my shopping basket more often that not. Enjoy the upper ranks of the breakfast cereal hierarchy as we unveil cereals #2 - 5.


#2: Lucky Charms
Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious! What a great jingle and what an amazing cereal. Combine the frosted oats of Alpha-Bits with astronaut-like freeze-dried marshmallows and you have a killer breakfast combo that I'll eat any day. Much like my beef with Trix, I think General Mills should have left this cereal the way it was and not fancy it up with new charms and wacky colors. I, myself, joined when purple horseshoes entered the mix and any new charms added thereafter are automatically lame. I'll still devour them, though.

#3: Mini-wheats
I consider this a healthy cereal, even though it's 50% sugar. Only 1 side is covered with a hard, white sugar glaze and only 50% sugary cereal seems like enough to earn the "healthy" moniker. I even got Mom to allow this cereal for regular consumption as a kid, and that was a tough feat. The bite-size variety is my favorite but I'll take the original size, too. The wheat biscuits soak up milk and when you bite into them...milky explosion, coupled with enough sugar to make you want more...and more...and more. Near the end of the bowl, it becomes a search and rescue mission as these Titanics of wheat and sugar sink like a rock. Oh, and how could you not love the commercials?? Pure genius. This is a solid cereal contender and one you'll find in my pantry more often that not.

#4: Golden Crisp
NOT Smacks, people; there's a difference. This is an exotic cereal if ever there was one. The appearance. The flavor. That weird foil-lined bag in the box. The mysterious mascot Sugar Bear with his cool, hip stylings and catchy jingle. Yes, this ons one cereal you almost have to eat, just to see what the hype is all about




#5: Frosted Flakes
They're grrreat! (because they're Corn Flakes encased in sugar). This cereal is almost too sweet for me, but I always find a way to push through to the end and pour another bowl. (In the name of science, people, in the name of science) Hell, these save you the time, effort and expense of adding sugar to your Corn Flakes so that right there should be worth something. In Spanish-speaking countries, they're called "Zucaritas" and are muuuuuy bueno! and "Flutie Flakes" are a private-labeled Frosted Flake for everyone's favorite hail Mary tosser. [Sidenote: how gracefully does Tony the Tiger age? For being 56 years old, that dude looks grrreat! I'm sure he's had some work done, but still...I'd kill to look like that in 26 years.]

One post to go. What cereal is the über-cereal? Stay tuned for the final post...

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Hierarchy of cereals, part 1

I enjoyed my hierarchy of ice post last week and I'm making the executive decision to make this a regular feature of this blog. So, let's tackle a product that is near and dear to my heart: cereal.

I LOVE cereal. I currently have 12 boxes of cereal in my pantry and seem to collect them like baseball cards. From sweet and sugary cereals that are pumped up with vitamins and minerals (cuz they naturally contain no nutrition, whatsoever) to the uber-healthy cereals I thought were punishment as a kid and now cherish, is there anything better than a good bowl of cereal with ice cold milk? I think not.

For your viewing pleasure, here's a list of cereals from Wikipedia that appears to include all the cereals that have ever been sold in supermarkets, sans the generic knock-off brands from Safeway, Vons, etc. That's a lot of cereal, Uncle Al!!

I have to limit this list to 10, otherwise I could go on forever. Trust me. Part 1 will deal with cereals 10 - 6, part 2 with cereals 5 - 2 and the final post will reveal the ultimate cereal. If you know my breakfast trends, there should be no surprise.

So, without any further rambling, here we go...

#10: Grape Nuts
This is probably an unpopular pick with the masses. It's healthy, low in flavor and looks like rocks and tastes like rocks. Ah, but I can fix that! I put 2 packets of Splenda in the bowl and life is good, trust me. Why they call it "Grape Nuts" I'll never know as there are neither grapes, nor nuts found on the ingredient list. If you're into yogurt and cereal, this might be a good choice but probably not the best choice as you might wonder why there are rocks in your yogurt. On second thought, scratch the Grape nuts and yogurt.



#9: Life
Mikey likes it! Guess what? So does Bryan! Sweet, healthy (sort of) and delicious. The cinnamon variety isn't my bag, but to each their own. You have to eat this one quickly as the little shapes soak up milk quickly and become rather soggy before you know it. Once they're too soggy, I'm out; Bryan don't play that. I'm a big fan of the large crystals of sugar trapped inside the little Life squares. I'm eager to break those sweet carbohydrates out of their woven whole grain oat prisons, any time!



#8: C.W Post
This cereal is probably unknown to anyone younger than myself or anyone that isn't/wasn't into granola. This now defunct cereal (discontinued in 1994) was probably pulled from shelves due to being 100% unhealthy, but damn was it good. The milk would get this weird granola/oil slick on top of it and tasted incredible; sweet as honey. There are other imitators out there that are good, but nothing will beat C.W. Post, God rest it's soul.

#7: Corn Pops
A hit or miss cereal. Either you love this cereal, or you're giving your bowl to me because you can't stand it. Scooping up a huge mouthful of this sweet corn treat and jamming it into your mouth and feeling the slimy, sugary puffs of corn crush between your teeth is a real joy. This is also a fairly resilient cereal and can be left unattended longer than other cereals whose shape is not sealed, unlike each little Corn Pop. As a kid, this was the cereal my mom would buy me as a treat after eating countless boxes of Chex or other healthy cereals for weeks on end. Corn Pops will always have a place in my pantry.



#6: Trix
Trix are the only fruity cereal you'll see in this hierarchy, and for good reason: fruit cereals are weird...except Trix...which is only sort of weird. Trix embodies all the positive attributes of a quality, fruity cereal. Sweet fruit flavor, corn-based, great mascot and just the right amount of man-made pigment to tint your milk a lovely bluish hue. I have a beef with Trix, though. I like the cereal the way it used to be, without all the messed up shapes and flavors. Keep it simple, General Mills. I prefer the little fruity orbs over the gross representations of the various fruits, for consistent crunching in the mouth and easy identification. Cereal designers take note: grapes do not look like that and what the hell is that flower looking thing?

Next post: #'s 5 - 2...

God Allows U-Turns

First off, I'm not a religious person. I attended church for a little while when I was a kid and never really liked it. I have nothing against religious types (for the most part) and applaud them for their convictions and dedication to their faith.

With that said, I was reminded today of something that really annoys me. I'm driving and this guy in a mini-van passes me at breakneck speed on Goldenwest, cuts me off and slams on his brakes so he doesn't hit the guy in front of him driving like a sane person; I slam on my brakes to compensate for Dale Jr. The guy than changes lanes to the right lane and floors it and jumps back into the center lane and slams on his brakes (cutting the guy in front of me off in the process), then over to the left lane and back to the center lane. You get the point: the guy was a total douche behind the wheel.

As the guy passed me, I noticed a bumper sticker placed at the top of his rear window:



I look closer and see the Jesus fish, several other God/Jesus bumper stickers and Calvin kneeling at a cross (is Hobbs a heathen or something?) all over the bumper of the champagne Dodge Caravan; the guy was an obvious religious nut and wanted to share his religious views with everyone on the road whether they liked it or not. Here's my problem...

If you're going to be advertising your faith and celebrating it by putting crap all over your car...shouldn't you conduct yourself and portray yourself and your religion in a positive light AT ALL TIMES? Driving stereotypes already run rampant based on one's sex, gender, race--and to a certain degree--political affiliation (Kerry lost...get over it Democrats). There's no need for people to start searching out Christians on the road and think "uh oh...there's a Christian. Those people drive like dumb-asses!!" With the driving prowess of today's winner, it appears to be a foregone conclusion and he's giving the rest of the Christians on the road a bad rap.

I wonder if he got caught for doing an illegal U-turn if he could play the God card in court...

Sunday, March 02, 2008

The grading scale, defined

Yesterday, Katie called her mom and asked what she was up to. "I'm filling out report cards," she'd tell Katie. "The Lady" as Katie refers to her mother, is an elementary school teacher and was telling Katie how some of her students were getting high marks, others not so much. This got me thinking about the A - F grading scale. Why is "E" omitted? Do the letters stand for something? Probably not, but this blog entry would be really boring if I believed that.

Here's what I think the letters of the grading scale stand for.

A = Awesome
B = Better than the dumb-ass in your class
C = C'mon, now; I know you can do better than that
D = Dumb-ass
E = (if it existed) Everybody knows you're a dumb ass
F = Frankly, the dumb-ass makes you look smart

And that is what I think the grading scale letters stand for.

On tap this week: cereal hierarchy, my awesome dog Brisbane, some surfing and more!